Please don't be so broad brush in your statements.
WRT your wife - go to Europe and ride the trains there. Recently I went to Spain. In Spain even the ratty commuter train traveled at 90+ mph.
Ride the TGV or AVE train. Those are quick and comfortable.
If at that point she still feels the way she does fine. But "Americans don't like trains" is a statement that is not correct. On the east coast, Americans use the trains a lot
A much better statement is "Americans don't like an uncomfortable experience"
BTW: http://www.cahighspeedrail.ca.gov/
And in San Francisco Area, Caltrain is electrifying precisely because people love the train so much. Caltrain needs extra capacity and the only way to get that capacity is with electrification. Plenty of Americans seem to like Caltrain. Plenty of Californians are ready to use the HSR project when segments open up.