Her closing remarks indicate it doesn't matter what choice she makes, she will have regrets. The end of the piece indicates it is systemic, a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation that shouldn't exist. It also describes a situation where the system sets you up for failure, then blames you when you fail.

They disappear people in China for criticizing the government. This strikes me as a left-handed critique of China, hopefully one that won't come back to bite the author.