It also involves letting them make decisions that can have bad outcomes that are largely harmless when they're young, like getting a stomach ache from too much candy, and clearly connecting the act to the consequence. So far it's worked pretty well, our kids have a good idea of what's healthy and what's not.
We're also going to do something like set up Etsy stores for the kids so that they get experience with buying supplies and making a product that's good enough for a stranger to buy, manipulating the web page (and eventually we'll move on to them making making their own Shopify or Wordpress sites), and running social media accounts for the businesses and what not. We're already getting one store started for our five year old who's really interested in making money (for now).
We're doing a lot of it now, but we're planning on having them take on more and more responsibility as they get older. Instead of doing chores (or in addition), they'll be actually interacting with the world in a way that's analagous to adulthood. Who knows how it will play out, but we're excited to see what happens.
Another (and related) field would be basic first aid, and more importantly being able to handle injuries more-or-less calmly even when you've cut your hand open or dumped a bunch of very hot water on yourself.
And first aid is a great skill as well that I hadn't thought of. My wife was a life guard so she has a lot of good instincts kind of baked in from that that she's been passing on to the kids.
Thanks for the tips!
I was shocked at how may people at university were completely incapable of cooking. Boiling water was about the most complex cooking skill they had. I have a colleague who's a fresh graduate and still lives at home, she admitted to me that she has literally no idea how to cook. Like even something as simple as spaghetti Bolognese (i.e. the stuff from a jar, just add ground meat and pasta) would be beyond her.
There's a simple stepwise list of instructions on the box/can/jar. They're making it as easy as humanly possible, short of actually providing a person to cook for you, and yet some people still can't do it.
Congratulations for you that cooking is simple and easy. It isn't for everybody.
A lot of people spend their first 18 years with no responsibilities, they always had a parent or someone else to do things for them. They are then rudely awakened when they leave home and have to fend for themselves.
A lot of the skills that they were missing were things that I had been doing for years, because I was fortunate enough to have parents who taught me how to do things rather than just doing it for me. I disliked it at the time, having to do my own work, but it was important to learn.
Often the skills that my friends were lacking were just basic life skills, such as being able to sew on a button or a patch, how to operate a washing machine properly, how to change a car tyre or their oil (or at least check their oil), how to iron a shirt, etc. etc.
They were also lacking in more important life skills, like being able to budget properly and look after their money. I knew a group of girls in one house who ended up spending hundreds of dollars a month for electricity in winter, because they were running heaters in every room 24/7 to try and keep their uninsulated house warm, they just didn't even think of what their power bill would be and were shocked when they received it. I can't remember exactly what it was, but it was more than double what me and my housemates were paying.
They're simply lacking in basic curiosity and cannot accept that sometimes you have to fail, in order to learn.
My post was meant as a critique of otherwise normally-functioning adults who are somehow completely deficient in completely basic skills, and even lack the tools or willingness to apply previous experiences and learn how to do things.
They're lacking the very basic skill of being able to learn, which I think is terrifying.
My spouse was one of those. He never really felt like he had anything to rebel against. By the time he was a teenager, it had been established that his limits were reasonable. Sure, he questioned why something was so, but always got an actual reason. Sure, he says he was a jerk and stuff, but that's immaturity. Rebellion? No need.
One of the things we got taught in civics classes after I moved to Norway was that parents had no right to choose a child's friends/boyfriend/girlfriend nor what they'll study in the last few years of school.
On the other hand, I lied to my mother regularly just to do normal stuff. If I left the mall to eat at a place that sat in the parking lot, I was supposed to call to get permission first. I wasn't allowed to go to anyone's house without my mother talking to their parents to make sure it was OK. I had to quit a job because my parents didn't want me working every weekend and had no choice but to go to church on sundays and many times, the reason for a limit was "because I said so".
MY father was much more lenient: He'd ask some basic questions and tell me what time to be home, giving me a chance to ask for a later time dependent on plans (he'd let me stay later for a later movie, for example, if I had a way home).
It all depends on what sorts of limits you have and how reasonable they are. Even to a teenager.
I feel that because I struck out on my own somewhat later than a lot of my peers, it took somewhat longer for me to be actually independent and my own person, realizing that what my parents or other people in a position of authority says, is not always correct.
I don't think everyone should actively distrust your parents, but I do feel that it's important to be independent and your own person, instead of relying on your parents' values and judgments.
They did not always get it right. But, when that happened, everyone looking to them?
Yeah, they see they matter. IMHO, some of this is a very good thing. No need to load them down. Childhood is special.
But, having a thing or few that they actually own is good all around.
I was brought up a similar way. I valued it
If so, please post more details, that sounds interesting.
It is not just a chore. Others won't do it. Intended. Or, if they do, it is a debt of sorts. Consequenses.
Say the cat box gets too dirty. The bathroom stinks. People notice, but more importantly, the one who owns it notices eventually.
Then the dots get connected.
My wife would have them do meals, planning, money, store. And then make them do it. We ate the outcome.
Lol (was interesting at times)
Doing it this way does carry some risk. Say a light meal because someone did not think it through the planning, or shitty school lunch one day because same, or someone got the munchies. But, just make sure it is livable, not super ugly.
I did car stuff, fixing things. The kids would check things, and do upkeep. I did double check these. But out of sight. Oil, lights, tires.
Same for the yard.
For a time, I was self employed. One older daughter did billing and books.
Think language immersion. It is like that. Let them sink, and they will swim. Or, if not, pull them out, let them be kids, and try again. Often they would ask me for something.
Being locked out of the house was my default state most summers.
If the kids started walking or playing in those trails, I bet some adult would start coming along to supervise. Probably make the kids sign up for an outdoor camp or scouts instead.