> Except the only way to get what you want using EV is to force literally every site on the internet to go through the EV cert process.
No it's not. There are a lot of ways to physically sell things without setting up a retail establishment. You can drag a box out onto the sidewalk and sell sunglasses to people; you can host a yard sale, you can set up at a flea market, you use a classified ad or Craigslist, you can sell through MLM, etc. Customers will calibrate their level of trust based on the experience you provide.
Operating a physical retail store (or a bank branch, or a restaurant, etc) carries with it an implicit promise of trust to the customer, and it's a promise that is backed by social and legal conventions.
So there's a range of experiences and implied trust in physical life, and it's fine if there is a range online. Site operators could choose the level of trust they're willing to invest in providing.
> Otherwise, somebody's going to go get a "less verified" cert, set up an impostor site and phish people.
That's only true if browsers make less verified certs look the same as more verified certs, which is what they are doing. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Now every site looks like a guy with a box on the sidewalk.