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The thought of Larry "monetizing" Java by putting it in the AppStore is just too hilarious for words.

Would be against the TOS. Only "safe" apps will be on the app store, nothing that allows other apps to gain root access.

Why would java allow other apps to gain root access?

Nope.

Why?

The JDK would probably need/want to put things in /Library/Frameworks, which I suspect wouldn't be allowed.

All the jars and whatnot, I don't think that's the model Apple has in mind for things distributed via the App Store.