Nah, I think you’re being pessimistic here. I’m not OP but I’m in the boat and I turn down public assistance because it’s not what it was made for and the system is strained enough...also, I wouldn’t judge anyone else for taking it.
* this is where you can usually tell someone is judging
And your metaphor of the poor as children you wouldn't steal candy from is exactly the kind of ideological superiority i'm talking about.