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Comment by leetcrew | Hacker News Reader

I don't think I've ever seen "her" used as a gender-neutral pronoun outside of abstract examples in philosophy papers. GP almost certainly meant to say they were assaulted by a woman.

I'm honestly not sure i believe sexual assaults are way less common against men, although men may not recognize them as often. I've had several women behave towards me in ways that they would definitely call sexual assault if the roles were reversed.

as for the down votes, look what GP wrote:

> So you were sexually assaulted by a female? Am I missing something?

this is an incredibly blunt and rude question to ask a victim of sexual assault. it implies that the very notion of the assault even occurring is so baffling as to require double checking that the poster even meant what they said.

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A wave of AMAB people in my circles came out with their own experiences after Terry Crews shared his. I think it's a lot more common, possibly to the point of parity.

It's a catch-22: it's assumed half the population can't experience it. They're strong (and will be assumed the agressor if they fight), all men want sex (not necessarily with women, or that woman), etc. There's a whole suite of victim blaming and denialist rhetoric to match what women deal with.

So there's no research, education, or advocacy, and the lack of data is used to justify not devoting resources. I've personally been propositioned and harassed in inappropriate ways. Underreporting is a known problem for women, but too few people apply the same logic that leads to that conclusion to other genders.

If anyone else was wondering "AMAB" seems to mean "Assigned Male At Birth". I had to look it up, and I figure I'm not the only one who didn't recognize the acronym.

Correct. It's a useful term because we have some shared experiences even if we go off in different directions gender-wise.

Everything I have seen suggests men are much, much less likely to report than women are. It's too stigmatizing for a man to admit to being a victim and there is vastly less support out there for male victims than for female ones.

Thank you for the clarification, I am not a native English speaker as you can probably tell. :) The gender-neutral form I was talking about is the way unknown people are sometimes being referred to: "user should click on the button so she can access the hidden page".

I found GGP's comment an expression of surprise, though it does sound a bit blunt - but given the international audience of HN I try not to judge posters too harshly.

> I am not a native English speaker as you can probably tell

yeah, i figured. i hope my post did not come off too harshly.

> "user should click on the button so she can access the hidden page"

historically the masculine "he", "man", "mankind" has been used to refer to all people in english, but it's not quite gender-neutral. in the last fifty years or so, some authors have used "she" instead to be more inclusive, but best practice today is to use "they" when gender is not known. just FYI.

Thanks!

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