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It's probably not facebook. Your wife's friend may have certain apps installed that have access to her texts, both incoming and outgoing, and they are likely phoning home her data and selling phone numbers to scammers. I've seen this where I've been texting my wife and then soon after get text adverts based on certain words we were using.

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That's certainly a possibility, but is it possible for other (malware) apps to scan private facebook posts? This was not a sms or anything like that, but a regular private facebook post made from her computer.

If anybody added her as a contact in their phone, such an app with contact information permissions would get that information as well.

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