Comment by SpanishConf | Hacker News Reader

Comment by SpanishConf | Hacker News Reader

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> Do you really want to do CS? If not, that is OK! There is no One True Path (TM) to geek bliss.

I hope, but here in Spain, may I reiterate, it's a stable job so you get an idea why I like CS further than just liking because of whatever other reason, and all the other paths other than software development are weird and very not stable. I like CS, but I am lazy and again, not very smart (which I am not ashamed I am not very smart and so on, it's just a matter of fact, call it IQ call it whatever, I don't have a talent for logic).

> Is there anything else you'd like to do? Maybe something that's more of a technician role, where you use tech rather than designing it? Say, like an auto mechanic or IT administration, where you'll be using your hands and "doing" rather than cranking out lines of code.

I don't like cars so auto-mechanic is sadly a no-no for me, IDK about IT Administration, afaik, most people get to be managers and such at IT Companies after being for some years proficient coders and software developers, which I guess would not be the best path for me. But indeed, I should investigate!

> Also, good on ya for going to talk to a professional. I was in a similar jam a while back and it made all the difference.

Great for you :)! After going to the doctor here a lot recently because of many reasons, she finally decided to send me to one, so we'll see how it goes!

Thank you for your response :)

In my case, I felt that I desperately wanted to work hard, but getting into a state of flow was rare, and as deadlines approached I often felt like I was pushing an unstable boulder uphill, like Sisyphus. This caused, and sometimes still causes, some terrible procrastination issues. I felt so guilty when I turned in mediocre efforts when I could have done so much more. In my case, it turned out to be anxiety issues (though everyone is different). Now that I recognize what was going awry, I can face it head on, and I am getting better every day.

It sounds like you're doing all that you can, friend. By the way, I think you're selling yourself short; you're a great communicator, especially for someone writing in a non-native language. That is absolutely NOT the mark of a lazy or unclever person.

Best of luck in your future endevours! :)

>In my case, I felt that I desperately wanted to work hard, but getting into a state of flow was rare, and as deadlines approached I often felt like I was pushing an unstable boulder uphill, like Sisyphus. I felt so guilty, even though I love my field. In my case, it turned out to be anxiety issues (though everyone is different!)

Interesting, I think I too share this "state of mind", so to speak. Sometimes I think more about how I should be working instead of doing whatever that when I actually get to do "work" I don't do it "properly" or "adequately" because I am simply "anxious" and the only thing I can think about is simply not fucking up instead of doing what should be done, just working. Hopefully that's your "similar" problem, however couple that with depression and laziness and you've got a recipe for failure like me ;)

But it's great that going to the psychologist helped you out.

I'm gonna assume you're American because the rule of thumb is to assume everyone is American on the English Internet by default because statistically it's more likely to be true and say that going to the psychologist is probably like more accepted there than here? Like here in Spain it took a little bit of convincing or "thinking" for my "public healthcare" doctor to assign me to a psychologist so IDK. Either way, great!

>It sounds like you're testing several avenues, friend. By the way, I think you're selling yourself short; you're a great communicator, especially for someone writing in a non-native language.

_Makes random mistake while writing, gets over-anxious about it as a consequence of being praised for (etc..)_ :)

Hahaha, thanks. That's what you get as a reward for years and years of Introversion spending lots of time alone reading and commenting on reddit and more recently (over the last year or so) on HN and watching YouTube content in English everyday hahaha :)

My parents are also from Ukraine, and in my part of Spain the language commonly spoken "on the streets" is Catalan, so within the timespan of a day I always have to changee between and speak 5 different languages (Outside- > Catalan and Spanish, Computer-> English & Spanish, Family-> Ukrainian and Russian), sometimes even within a time frame of a minute, so I'm just used to "different languages" in general (sometimes I even wonder how do I not mix all of those 5 languages up and I've found that I tend to do that more at the spoken irl level, actually). But seriously, I am bad at math and that sucks for me :P

>Best of luck in your future endevours! :)

You too!

> Outside- > Catalan and Spanish, Computer-> English & Spanish, Family-> Ukrainian and Russian

Wow, your language skills look decent. Join it with some IT curiosity and make some help website/forum/services for Ukrainian and Russian people in Spain, you would be surprised how much demand it may bring you. You can try get Certified Translator title too both in Spain and Ukraine to boost credibility. I know Central European immigrant who did it in Spain -- constant flow of customers.

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