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Comment by myth_drannon | Hacker News Reader

Regardless of who, inviting an interviewee for a week-long vacation/party is a huge red flag. These things should be reported immediately. It's so sad that humans are conditioned to a social hierarchy and will seldom do anything that might bring the rage of a higher status person. In my short career, I saw too many attempts by C-level suits to build their own little harems (and most were successful in that by the way)

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Not to mention that he described his relationship with his wife as polyamorous during the interview. I can't imagine a scenario where this would be even remotely appropriate to discuss.

It’d be kinda weird to talk about that with coworkers, let alone during an interview. The sexual habits of my coworkers is not an open area of discussion.

I personally view that as a sexual proposition, it’s a way of saying “I’m available”.

Polyamory isn't simply about sex, it just means you can find love with more than one person.

I think if you can say you have a wife, which implicitly tells your sexual preference and explicitly tells your legal family situation, then it's okay to add that you also have girlfriends or boyfriends as well.

Honestly, a lot of my coworkers don’t really talk about their singular partners either.

I maintain that discussions of such nature have to clear a “need to know” bar at work. There’s a lot of discussions about my relationship I’d be perfectly willing to have with friends that I would not discuss at work.

Regardless, you absolutely should not be mentioning your relationship status in any way during an interview. Single, married, poly, whatever.

If you are an interviewer and you go by Mrs., then you are already mentioning your relationship status. This is such a low bar to jump over that I feel it is safe.

I go by <First Name>, not <Salutation> <Last Name>. Hooray for informality!

I do wear a wedding ring though.

>Polyamory isn't simply about sex, it just means you can find love with more than one person.

Completely disagree. Every person I know who identifies as poly has their own definition of what that actually means, and many of them do not include "love" in their definition.

This. Saying this during an interview should mean the same day termination for the interviewer. Of course that's not the case for people with power or influence in the company like this guy.

Burning Man is like the pilgrimage to Mecca for a lot of SV cultists. Saying no to an invite would mark you as a heretic who's just not a good 'culture fit'.

Bringing conservative interview clothes to Burning Man would also mark you as "not a good culture fit" though.

Yeah that's the opposite of what would he regarded as good interview clothes. And to be so ignorant as to what BM is, says enough about the naivete of the person

The naivete of the job candidate? She was supposed to understand that an invitation to Burning Man was an implicit relationship proposal?

How about your naivete for thinking that is what i meant...

Her naivete thinking that any meaningful job interview would happen at freaking burning man such that it would include conservative clothing as a requirement.

Sorry I’m not fluent in your shit writing.

I think you'd be surprised. There are plenty of people who wear cargo shorts and t-shirts (not rangers) all week. Those are the people actually building art and maintaining the infrastructure. A lot of the time you can tell someone's ability to give back by their costuming effort.

>cargo shorts and t-shirts

Those aren't really conservative work clothes though, at least in the popular conception.

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