1. Having children and raising a family is a full time job.
2. If you want a family and a career, you are essentially doing two full time jobs.
3. This isn’t impossible as many people do it all around the world. The trick is to find support with family or friends or partners.
4. Infertility adds another twist to it. You have just taken on a third job. To get pregnant. And one where your reviews are not stellar.
5. I am framing this in the context of jobs and working because I am using your career as a baseline as it is clearly something you appreciate as part of your life.
6. Consider this..you have three streams right now. a. Work. b. Your personal life. c. Your infertility struggles. Do you really want them to co-mingle?
7. I wish you strength and courage. All I can suggest is to find a therapist. If that isn’t feasible, start a journal. If you feel you need feedback, make it a public blog..you can also maintain anonymity. There are in person support groups and online support groups. We are more connected than ever before and yet, we have more boundaries now.
Good luck.
I've found that having one or two trusted work friends to confide in helps immensely. They can basically act as support touchstones, even if you only talk about the topic once.
Compassion in the workplace exists, but mindreading does not. Knowing that you dont have to shoulder the burden yourself, and be reminded of that fact, can help clear the mental space we all need to do our jobs. It's not easy or perfect, but it is doable especially with practice.
As an example though, I've supported coworkers in similar straights in the past who only said as much as "I'm waiting on the results of some tests, then I might just quit my job and travel the world."