They aren't incompatible. The people who want houses with gardens just need to live further away from the transit stations than the people who want to live in apartments and take transit.
there's the rub. most suburban outposts of transit on the west coast just have SFH around them, which is a nice $billion entitlement to public infrastructure if you can get it. anyway THOSE people have the most to lose (neighborhood, lifestyle) from new apartments and a huge amount of political leverage over land-use in their area.
in summary, very fine grain local control of housing/transit planning is bad.
most suburban outposts of transit on the west coast just have SFH around them
With respect to Caltrain, it's not the case at all.