“I don’t make enough money to build a family” is a very prevalent sentiment looking around IRL and on social media, and seems to be corroborated by the stats.
Japan is probably the best country to be poor in, because you can still afford rent, food, and health insurance and you don't need to worry about living in a crime-ridden area with a high risk of murder and robbery--because such neighborhoods literally do not exist. People are worrying about whether they can afford to have a kid and pay for daycare or still enjoy their summer vacation while hauling a baby around, not if they can afford to have anything to eat for the upcoming week.
I think there is the external look where we can assert they are well off and don’t risk to die, and the internal look where social pressure, actual mental state and comparing themselves to the image pushed by the media and previous generations make them feel like they are barely alive and way beyond where they should be to qualify as “well off” by society’s standard.
I am not justifying that kind of tunnel view (though I am sympathic to a certain point. Working 12h a day a shitty job to barely pay the rent would make me sick), just that people in that kind of spiral won’t feel like they have enough resource to care for another human or two.
My overworked friends don't feel that helpless.
They can eat out anytime, go to any concert they desire, buy any gadget. They feel secure and safe, they work hard only due to expectation and societal pressure but a few many are self driven
And they don't think like ohhh we don't have capacity to have kids. They infact say they can have kids anytime they wish and they aren't missing out on something.
It's kinda network effect.
You go on social media, you see indepdent guy bunjee jumping and some couples posting photos of their kids, which one gets more likes? Obviously bunjee jumping one. So, we are conditioned to seek inviduality/freedom/lack of family responsibilies.
I would say, increasing workplace responsibilities are also to blame.
If you are CEO of a company, i think you've same profile of busy time as a normal guy with a baby who has to take of it.
But which one gets more praises? obviously the one who takes corporate responsibilites.
I don't know if someone gets praises for having kids. Infact, if you are trying to adjust your babys carrier while walking on footpath, people are like wtf? Why can't these guys keep their baby at home.
Baby cries, same, wtf....why can't these guys keep their baby at home?
You feel embarrassed and feel like you did something wrong.
To what extent is the ability to consume a substantiated good and to what extent is it an illusory good?
I once listened to a lecture where the ethos of consumerism was blamed for the paradox of low birth rates among higher earners over lower earners, that is, you don't find that happening in non-consumerist societies. The reason was that higher earners were more likely to be keeping up with the Jones' and thus preferred to spend their extra income on buying crap and showing off. This tendency might actually be reversed among very high earners who can afford to do both. (FYI, the cost of having an additional child in a traditional society is actually cheaper as you have more children.)
Some countries (take Cuba for instance) have little consumerism but their birthrate remains low (dysfunctional economy + educated population).
Have you thought of why people who have kids create groups? I'm starting to think that it's much like a defensive mechanism, a form of protection.