To memory, my parents didn't start having me do chores until I was at least 10 years old. I was not a fan of doing most of what was asked of me, and in retrospect I think the problem was the system I was working for was very unfair; I usually got paid $5 a week for mowing the lawn, but the other chores I had to do paid me nothing. I don't think my parents thought they were being unfair and I'm sure they were concerned with limiting how much money I would have on hand, as well as saving their own wallet obviously. What ended up happening was I had to wait too long to make another measly $5, and the other chores I had paid nothing so I felt I was getting gypped. At the time I didn't articulate this feeling to them... not sure why, but I guess that's just something children are usually unable to do.
I grew up as a lazy person; my grades were pitiful and I generally didn't try hard at anything until my early 20s when I realized that life was going to pass me by if I didn't do something about it. I don't think this is necessarily due to my parents raising me as a lazy person, but perhaps a more enterprising and less dependent attitude could have been instilled in me early on so I wouldn't have had to learn the hard way after I became an adult.
In response to that experience, I've been thinking about a better system for my hypothetical children:
- Get them doing chores as early as possible so that participating in work is normalized before the age they will have too many mindless distractions like video games. It's hard for me to say how much a 6 year old can do, but I'm sure there's at least a few easy tasks they could be doing on a regular basis.
- Most chores that are result of primarily my actions(e.g. I choose to own a stupid water-thirsty lawn) should pay. I would want to create at least a handful of opportunities for my child to make money throughout each week that they are motivated and regularly rewarded. Adults probably forget that a week seems like a long time to a child.
- Tasks like cleaning their room are unpaid because they have to learn to be responsible for their own mess. There will be a consequence for them not cleaning their room, but they can still choose to forego this task without being scolded(within reason of course).
- I will be their "bank" and they can deposit and withdraw from their account so long as I approve of what they are spending their money on. Each month, they will accrue a little bit of interest which, for the amount children will realistically make, is no big hit to my wallet. This not only allows me to make sure they aren't spending their money on crap, but it gets them used to the idea of working with a bank early on. In the case they decide to fail to clean their room, for example, I can choose to withhold access to their earnings.
- Besides holidays and special occasions, I won't be paying for the things that they want. If they want a toy, they're going to have to work for it and save enough money they they can afford it themselves. Their meals, educational material, and other essential items, are up to me, but they have to learn that they are ultimately responsible for their own desires or else they'd better develop a sense of patience.
I presume such a system would be difficult for families who live in places such as apartments where there are only so many chores to be done. Hopefully I live in such a situation, like having a house with property, where I can find enough things for my children to do.
Is the system I'm thinking of too draconian? What do you think?