In those cases I just order water. No one has ever shamed me or even said anything about the fact that I had a glass or bottle of water instead of a drink.
This doesn't seem like a very hard problem to solve.
There's always going to be another group of people who think that the setup is unfair. If the only group of people who feels left out is the set of academic alcoholics so early in recovery that being in a setting with alcohol is unbearable then honestly it seems fine to me.
Honestly, I mostly agree with you but I also think alcohol is entirely optional to human existence whereas food is not. So it's not exactly black and white.
Probably if we are all as thoughtful as we can be, the whole thing will keep mostly working :)
For some, alcoholism is considered to be a chronic brain disease where just ordering something else isn't as easy as it sounds.
That's nice for you, but based on the article it's clearly not universal.
It's more the almost overwhelming temptation - the need, even - to consume alcohol.
It's not an issue I face, as I'm not an alcoholic, but I'm sympathetic to those who do suffer from this disease and face a less than equal footing in their professional lives as a result. I don't have a solution for the problem.
(Aside from the fact that humans are social animals wired to experience discomfort when snubbed. "Grow a thicker skin" is sometimes necessary, but it shouldn't have to be the default.)
And, again, this is about industry networking opportunities. It's not just social awkwardness at stake.
It doesn't escape me that these people are women. My wife has had similar experience in literally every other opt in social activity in our field. Have you considered that maybe it's not a hazard of not drinking, but rather a consequence of being a woman in a professional world that is hostile to them?
Comparatively, almost nobody is sympathetic to cannabis addiction. Many will mock you for even believing such a thing exists, but five years after quitting it still strains my willpower. Finding somebody who earnestly believes alcoholism doesn't exist is rare (typically you only hear it from hardcore alcoholics deep in denial.)
That is, unhelpful.