Though, if any vehicle platform can handle a huge oversize battery for a thousand miles of range on a charge- it's a pickup.

People already get 50 gallon tanks, and then throw another 100 gallon tank in the bed. That's a thousand pounds of gasoline.

Never de-gel your fuel lines again.

And best of all, electricity just produces itself!

An F-Series might consume more energy than, say, a Nissan Leaf, so it doesn't make sense to me to say "an EV" as though that were a standardized measurement.

That sounds impressive. Do you have a resource for those numbers?