>That's why the idea of consent feels so alien to me: it goes against my very experience with the (different) women I've been with.
Presumably, the women you've been with have provided you with consent, or else you've been incapable of realizing when they haven't. But 'consent' exists as an abstract principle not linked to gender, it's merely the capacity of an individual to have agency and ownership of themselves, so your particular sexual experiences should have no bearing on your comprehension of the term or its implications for future relationships.