Hah! Maybe this is how I should look at my account being suspended for no reason a little less than two weeks ago. The email associated with this 6-year-old account does not exist on Gmail but cannot be registered again either. Such a bummer since I had good karma and a fairly organized feed.
After explaining this to the admins -- I was still denied access back to my account. Actually, it's starting to grind my gears how stupid this admin guy was for implying that I might be some mysterious perpetrator trying to take over a shitty Reddit account. Even my browsing history (which they have logs for) matches the usual tango; figures.
Whatever!