Nobody likes someone else expressing opinions on their relationships though. And nothing gets someone to defend their abuser more strongly than telling them they're being abused.
Exactly, that's why you gotta show, not tell. We've been telling them stuff like "walled gardens are bad" instead of showing them a better way, and allowing them to realize that they can have better on their own.
Nowhere is this more evident than in the editor wars. I have been trying to convert vi users to emacs for years. They just go running right back into the arms of their abuser.