Think about it: Out of the humongous search space of chemicals, the ones we use happened to work for us. A combination of randomness and building on what worked before got us to where we are. Why should life not be able to use chemistry in completely different ways in order to replicate itself? Why are we so arrogant as to think that our design is the only design?
Edit: My point is that our ratio of "shit we know" to "shit we don't know we don't know" is infinitesimally small in the field of possible lifeforms' biochemistry. That is, we only know stuff very close to us on a cosmic scale; we effectively have blinders to all other possibilities. And there's already a lot of biochemical variation on Earth: To give some small examples, viruses don't even have DNA, and plants use less amino acids than animals.
The self-similarity of what we have so far can be explained, I think, by evolution. We all started out from the same point, so there's very little incentive to "reinvent the wheel" as it were. Only under extreme conditions like we have here, or the geothermal vents underwater, do we observe marked differences.