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> as for Islam my main beef is it doesn't distinguish between the religion and the secular state

A lot of muslims don't consider or care about the governance model

I think your 'trick' is still masking a lack of very basic understanding about the vast population of people that aren't doing anything radical

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And I think it's hard to blame me for this because where I live there are very few Muslims. Muslims, homosexuals etc are always something you read about, not people you can distinguish on a street. They're afraid to identify openly, so you can't go and talk with them.

Hm... so I gather that you consider yourself the tolerant person in your society. Assuming that you are willing to imagine living in a more collaborative society all you need to understand is that people are just people. They have the same wants and desires. Connection, purpose, security, a general understanding that self-preservation requires respecting other people's goal of self-preservation.

It is that simple.

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