Comment by fullarr | Hacker News Reader

Comment by fullarr | Hacker News Reader

This is one of those articles where a bunch of people will find solace in the fact that they are not alone, despite not actually coming away with a plan to correct it. There's no real advice in here worth taking that isn't already pretty obvious to anyone that can step back from their circumstances for a moment, and this sort of information is offered in thousands of similar articles.

I can obviously relate to the author regarding a deteriorating work-life balance, and a lot of us have become burnt out or at least experienced intense stress at work. Nothing in this piece makes me believe that she has fixed the problem, and it's not healthy to continue until you break, dropping everything and going on a "walkabout" to some distant place for awhile to pretend like you've solved a problem.

I found it telling that she claims to be a values-oriented person, and yet also a self-proclaimed atheist. People like her should actually try finding themselves again through religion. I'm not even suggesting a specific religion. You don't have to be a believer to gain value by setting aside time to reflect on your life, values, relationships, and why you are here. It also helps to associate yourself with other people that are searching for answers to these things. The lack of religion in people's life is a big contributor to the feeling of a lack of purpose and it allows you to become increasingly unbalanced in life as you prioritize work and material things over what's really important.

I have to respectfully disagree with your point about religion. Plenty of people find values and meaning without it being through religion. I think there is a tendency for anyone who has found something that makes them happy to automatically prescribe it for anyone who is unhappy, and it isn't one-size-fits-all. Kudos for not insisting on your religion of choice however.

Edit: I do think that the community that comes with religions is enviable. I wish that there were more non-religious groups around that would dedicate themselves to the same reflection, mutual support, and togetherness that religions traditionally bring to the table.

I'll respectfully agree with both of you.

For the past decade or so I've struggled immensely with finding meaning outside of religion. I've made progress, and I do believe it's possible.

But it's still an open question for me. Even now, a decade or so since losing my faith, I've not found a replacement that satisfies me. I feel I have the luxury to keep looking, but if I had kids or a significant other, I might consider some degree of religiosity again.

Having experimented with all sorts of 'surrogates' to the experience of being in a deeply religious community, I can conclude none of them so far make it work. For various reasons.

I'm not sure where that leaves me now. All I'm saying is that I've not found anything non-religious that comes close to what my religious community offered me. And progressive experience has only made me more pessimistic about this. Perhaps there are other things to focus on, or perhaps I've just not looked in the right places.

But it can be somewhat lonely to talk to people who have not shared my experience, because they just don't know what they're missing.

EDIT: I'm not saying people can't find meaning without religion. Rather, I've not met a single person who had a good, religious background who has not been left somewhat empty by the alternatives. It's mostly been those who were never religious, or who were semi-religious, who seemed to be okay with whatever alternative they found.

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