I sold a pen during an interview

> Me: "Because this is not a pen anymore. It's the missing key for you to finally quit smoking. You will finally throw the cigarettes away and decrease the risk of becoming sick drastically. This means you will have a much brighter future and will live longer. When you pay me 100 bucks for your own cheap noname pen which is only wort five than you will be remembered to quit smoking every single time you use it. How idiotic would it be if you buy your own pen back for a lot of money without getting anything in exchange. You would look like a fool. But if you buy this pen and decide to finally quit smoking TODAY than this pen will have tremendous value to you. Much more than all Montblancs combined. Plus it's a great story to tell if you show someone this plastic pen and stating that it has a pricetag of a hundred bucks. You can even use it as an opener to sell other people their pens. I need an answer now. But be aware, if you say no you are not saying no to me. You are saying no to yourself.."

He: Look, we both know that pen can't stop a person from smoking. And we both know you didn't come here to steal a five dollar pen. You came here to land a job. But so far all you've done is prove you're a thief. What kind of idiot goes to all the trouble to schedule an interview and drive two hours to the hiring office just to prove to a potential boss that he's a criminal?

If you actually want a job, you'll give me back that pen -- and some other item you happen to be carrying, like your watch or your phone, as a token of your remorse. Then you'll apologize. And then, maybe, just maybe, if I'm in a good mood and feel like continuing, we can finish the rest of your interview. That'll make a great story won't it? The story of how you almost landed a job but lost your iPhone -- fascinating!

Now take that shitty pen and get the hell out of my office.

How I actually avoided spell-check before publishing a post

I hate it when a salesman starts asking a bunch of phony personal questions.

I wanted to buy that pen. And I don't even smoke! LOL

that happened.