In my mind, that's perfectly reasonable - what I do within the boundaries of their business is our shared interaction and we both have the opportunity to make decisions based on those interactions. The major exception for Amazon is affiliate links, which, for the business i was in, weren't used as data sources.
Apple is not significantly different. Between Apple and me, who else knows our business and what does Apple know about me outside of my interactions with them (maybe more now with Apple Pay).
For the most part, Netflix is the same. Sure they know what I watch, but why does that matter if they're only using it to improve their own business and make programming choices?
Google and Facebook, on the other hand, blanket the internet with tracking beacons, read my email, keep shadow profiles (I don't have a facebook account, never have had one, but I'm sure they know more about me than I'd like), eavesdrop on conversations (I suppose Amazon is in that business now, too), track locations, steal contact data, trick people training their ML algos, etc. As is said, "If you give me six lines written by the hand of the most honest of men, I will find something in them which will hang him.", FB and Google have far more than that and a single bad actor with access to that data could make life extremely difficult for just about anyone in the world.
As for the "improving service" angle, e.g. Netflix could ask if it's OK to collect history to improve/personalize recommendations.
And a lot of "improvements" and metrics do not really need detailed data collection per person anyway. Collecting anonymous data in broader groupings is often quite fine. E.g. "Strange Things is really popular our total-views counter says ergo order a new season". There is no need for Netflix to know exactly who specifically watched the show to make such a decision.
> It was fine.
To say that "it was better", because there was more competition.
That's a keen insight, that it might be a "generational thing". I remember things, in general, working better before the Shermann Antitrust Act stopped applying to technology companies.
If they ask for the data for that purpose, then they should only be allowed to use the data for that purpose.
This isn't true of Facebook. This isn't true of Apple. This isn't true of Amazon. This isn't true of Netflix. Google... likely they would be wounded, but it definitely wouldn't make them go out of businesses.
This is one _huge_ advantage to cash in the current market, but that doesn't apply to the dozens of other ways companies are tracking people.
Imagine if this law also applied to Google and Facebook, and they couldn't charge more when you opt out of their data collection?
You argument is essentially that it is not right to ban persuasive surveillance on the roads if it is possible for people to use those roads to reach destinations where surveillance is allowed.
In your analogy, perhaps the ISPs are the highways, and tech companies are the neighborhood streets, but they're both roads. Because you're not trying to get to Facebook, you're trying to get to your grandma's photo album, that unfortunately you can only get to through Facebook.
No matter which she chooses, though, to get to it a large number of people only have one choice for high speed internet access to go through.
ISPs are low level infrastructure tied to specific geographical locations. If you don't like the infrastructure where you live then generally you only way to pick something better is to move to another region.
If you don't like your photo hosting site, or you blog hosting site, or you online backup site, or your stock tracking site, etc., an alternative is a URL change away.
That's why different regulatory handling of ISPs and the places you reach through those ISPs makes sense.
Facebook is more like a bar or club or church in the physical world analogy than it is like a street. You go there to interact with other people who go there, but it is a destination, competing with other destinations that those people could meet at instead.
That said, Facebook does offer communication services, and so some regulation of communication services that makes sense would make sense to apply to both them and ISPs.
Pretending platforms are a wholly different thing than infrastructure, and easily switchable seems willfully ignorant of the real world. Moving platforms is almost as difficult as moving real world locations. And popular opinion aside, most people have two or more ISP options. (I have three wired residential ISPs here, two offering gigabit connections, and at least four wireless carriers.)