Hold your horses there. While Apple is by no means a white knight don't accuse it of something that is not doing. As a software developer I can install all the software I create on my own devices, never had a problem with this.
To be fair, the most generous reading of "your own software" is "software I own legally" not "software I wrote myself". In this regard Apple's control over the iOS ecosystem is extreme.
Why should this privilege be limited only to software developers paying $99/year to Apple? Most people aren't software developers, and most who are aren't paying Apple the $99/year.
You're dead wrong. I have an Apple Developer ID and that's all. The free one, you know. Those 99 you speak off are required to publish your software on Apple Store, not to deploy your software on your devices. Please inform yourself before.