I have said this more than once here, and hate how much it defines my life so imagine people might be annoyed by seeing it again, but I have been suicidal for a long time because of medical errors and the ensuing heath/life issues. I don't want to be. Nobody who is wants to be. Some people SAY they want more than anything to be gone but at the end of the thread, if you pull hard enough, they just want the suffering, whatever it is, to end. I have been in and out of discussion forums on the topic and I have met countless people like this young woman who are desperate and in pain and cannot get enough help that actually makes a difference to go either direction, into or out of life. Many of them have tried everything they can access and have no realistic chance for improvement, but society has decided its not your right to stop if it becomes too much. These people often end up using desperate and dangerous methods and fail/end up worse off. I've also seen the aftermath where their families react in anger to those who discuss the topic freely and blame them for their loss, as if the person wouldn't have ended their life were it not spoken aloud, when the truth is being able to and being understood is the only peace most of them have had for a long time.

I know all the arguments, and even used some of them when I was younger and more naive. Now that I am here I see things differently. Someone I cared very deeply about reached the end of their rope this past winter and nothing and nobody short of locking them in a box was going to stop them, and even then they probably would have found a way. I keep thinking I should have realized how imminent it was and done "something", but for the life of me I can't think what, as they had tried the things available and nothing helped. What they needed was more than society was willing to give and that's the case for the majority of people I have seen go. Very few are lost no matter what with no conceivable way to survive...its just not available to them. Yet that same society tells them they cannot opt out. At what point do we stop trying to make people stay alive and suffering and give them safe and sure ways out? It's not an easy question. One that isn't as simple as "legalize suicide" and done. But there is a cultural idea in the West that it's NEVER the answer, that it always gets better, and those things are not true either. As I feel the day creeping closer for me I know I will have to deal with it alone and afraid, secretly, and with my best homemade effort, since there is no other way out of this life, and I cannot seem to solve the problems that would allow me to stay in it. I'd just ask people to put themselves in the shoes of people in such a situation, and think about how it would feel if you were at the literal end of your rope and people fought to keep you here and suffering. Nobody would want that...but like so much in life we don't extend such truths to others.