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Comment by Spooky23 | Hacker News Reader

The costs of having children are dramatically over-costed on internet forums.

People going the DINK route are mostly prioritizing careers over life. It's a vicious cycle for many, who end up changing their mind and spending alot of money and opportunity cost trying to make up for it.

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It's not the cost of birthing/feeding/clothing/daycaring. It's the cost of having a house in the best school district you can afford, sending your kids on ski trips or international vacations with their friends who also have higher income parents, and various other activities that are involved with being in the "up and coming" social group.

I think that's an America-centric view. In a lot of places in Europe it wouldn't matter what neighborhood you lived in - the schools available would be equally good.

That covers one segment of the conversation, but "move to Europe" isn't a solution for most people not in Europe.

It's not event an America-centric view, it's an urban America view. Live in a district that has only one school for each grade level, and suddenly the rich kids and the poor kids get the same education opportunities. I personally believe that's one of the reasons the upper midwest consistently has the best overall ranked schools in America.

It is the cost of daycare and regular living stuff. At least for me with my 2 year old.

- Daycare is 18k per year.

- Extra seat on airplanes, depending on your travel habits could be 2k

- Food, diapers, increased medical premiums might all total around 1500

That's like a 30% pay cut for a lot of people.

That's just pride and puffery. Extravagant kid stuff is about you, not the kids!

If you choose to join the cool kids club, you're paying the price of admission. I coach little league ($120/season) and do all sorts of activities with the kids that are fun, enriching and not outrageous. My kids will not see the Louvre or work on their Spanish in Barcelona on a school trip, but will somehow muddle through.

I agree that the costs are over-estimated. I think for me it is more the thing the sibling post pointed out of your risk profile changing dramatically when you have dependents. Most things in life these days, I don't really worry about how it will affect me, I worry how it will affect my wife / kids. Makes me much more cautious than I otherwise might have been.

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