I don't understand why you feel it's necessary to share your personal justifications (rationalizations), other than you're trying to normalize your own mediocrity. Which, by definition, already is normal.
But if in your own words “you studied for an interview”, it’s not exactly showing that you have a special skillset if all someone has to do is study for a month.
If you’re an experienced software engineer and companies aren’t beating down your door and you’re still randomly applying for jobs and jumping through the same hoops as someone just graduating from college - you’re doing it wrong.