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Comment by ahje | Hacker News Reader

He will. Kids try to find loop-holes in every single rule, and they will deliberately misinterpret everything you say in order to use it against you later on. :)

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That's a phase. And it's more annoying when the parent teach the child how to argue and value discussions as a mean to solve conflicts or find a solution to problems. So,... sometimes it's really annoying :).

I don't have a kid, but I recall one of my nieces friends went to the kitchen. We turned around and asked if she needed anything and she said "oh I'm just getting some food for the group." We nodded and went back to our conversation. In the corner of my eye, I realized she was scrounging up chocolate/candy. I sort of shrugged and thought, well technically that is food.

Well, different kids are different. It was a lot of work, but eventually I convinced my kid that a) we were on the same team so rules were more for everyones' quality of life than just harassment, b) I knew more than they did so my feedback on what they should do was useful to them, and (importantly) c) "rules lawyering" was just as risky as simply breaking rules.

When my daughter asks me "Daddy, can you <something>", I usually reply with "Yes" and then leave it at that. Then should responds with "WILL you <something>", and I do it. I very clearly taught her the difference between can and will by doing so. And now she does the same thing to my wife. And I get in trouble for it. It's great.

May I humbly suggest training her to say "Will you please ..."?

We actually do teach her to use please. It just wasn't part of what I was talking about. :)

What's the point of that "lesson"? In English and many other languages politeness in asking for something is achieved by beating around the bush. That's just how it works.

"Could you do me a favor and look into that issue?". Answering yes implies you'll do it. Same goes for the "woulds" and "cans" and "mind doing ... s".

They two different questions. One is asking if you are you able to, the other if you are willing to. I don't teach my daughter to correct people outside the house, but I do want her to speak properly when out there.

It's the same as everyone knows what she means when she says "libary", but I correct her to pronounce it "library".

Pragmatically, neither of them is a question: they are more and less polite requests (or a request and an order). Your daughter is perceptive enough to have worked this out; probably you did too, but at some point decided to override your unconcious competence with concious nitpicking.

This sort of thing drove me insane in elementary school and still does to this day. In vernacular English, "can you" is just a more polite and less aggressive form of "will you". Having those two options is really useful. Distinguishing between them like that always feels more like a power play by someone trying to force someone else to use an arbitrary phrasing, rather than an actual lesson in how English works.

I don't know why you've added a smiley, my 2 year old is already displaying the trait grr :(

Simply because I can afford the luxury of looking back at it in the rear-view mirror. :)

Yes I got that.

Ps how did you make your 2nd smiley so smug? :P

Wait till he's 14 and you find his bong.

Considering it's not legal up here in Canada, there's a chance kids find their parents' bong when trying to hide theirs.

I think you meant "not illegal"

Indeed!

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