I got to 5 minutes. I have a kid so this was easy :D

Once upon a time there was a banana. That banana was called bob. Bob the banana used to have fights with other fruit. His arch nemesis was Oscar the orange. Oscar was a very orange orange. He was so orange that everyone else was jealous. Bob the banana wasn't very yellow. He was kind of yellow with dark splotches on. That is why Bob used to fight the other fruit. He was jealous of Oscar's orangey orangeness. He was also jealous of Adam Apple's shiny red skin. Finally, he was jealous of the grape gangs lovely green skin.

One day Bob was busy fighting Oscar, Adam and the Grape Gang. All at once. That's right. He was a very good fighter as he practiced a lot by fighting the other fruit.

Percy pineapple saw the fight and came up to Bob and intervened. He said, 'Oi. Bob. What you doing?'

'I'm fighting!'

'Why?'

'I don't know.'

Bob was sad. Bob shrugged. He didn't know why he was fighting.

'You never fight me' said Percy pineapple.

'You're right, I don't.'

'You only ever fight the fruit with lovely skin. Did you notice that?'

'Oh. You're right. I do'

'Do you think maybe you wish you had perfect skin like them?'

'You're right. I wish I did have lovely perfect skin without any blemishes. Instead, I have this grotty yellow skin with dark patches all over it.'

'That's ok. I have spiky skin. Nobody can even touch me and I never get any cuddles.'

'Oh.'

'Mmmhmmm'

Bob felt bad.

'Maybe I could try and hug you'.

'I wouldn't advise it, I'm very spikey. I've got used to just having high fives and fist bumps instead'

'Oh. That sounds like a good idea'.

Bob and Percy have a nice high five session. Bob isn't very good at high fives so it took a lot of practice. After about four thousand attempts they get it right and do one of the awesome high fives from top gun. That's right, a top gun high and low high five. They both feel really cool.

Bob isn't feeling sad any more.

Bob then looks around and notices the other fruit that he was decking. The fruit is looking a bit bashed up. He apologises for what he has done and then asks 'Can anyone do anything to help me?'