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Comment by jly | Hacker News Reader

Logically this makes sense but it can be tricky to implement successfully for everyone. For breast-fed infants, it may be the case that mom has to be more frequently involved in the overnight care. It makes sense for dad to get as much sleep as possible in this case, but that can lead to resentment and other issues.

My wife and I traded off as you indicated but that was no picnic, either. We found it easier to split wake-ups during a night so that each of us could get a manageable amount of sleep, vs one person waking up every couple hours all night long. No matter how you slice the time up, nobody is going to 'well-rested' when there are only two people taking care of an infant.

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> Logically this makes sense but it can be tricky to implement successfully for everyone. For breast-fed infants, it may be the case that mom has to be more frequently involved in the overnight care. It makes sense for dad to get as much sleep as possible in this case, but that can lead to resentment and other issues.

Embracing marriage as a team sport goes a long way to avoiding petty resentment. It's also standard practice for the resting parent to ensure there is plenty of coffee after the non-resting parent's final 37 minute power nap.

> Embracing marriage as a team sport goes a long way to avoiding petty resentment.

Fully in agreement. Good communication and empathy in marriage are paramount to successfully raising kids. I'm just saying even the most understanding people can hit a breaking point after long enough without sleep, especially without a lot of external help.

Yes. And post-partum anxiety and depression as well as chronic sleep deprivation go a long way to engendering petty resentment, as well as other insecurities that could be mitigated by the presence of the other spouse at night.

I have a leg up working from home though - I just take the baby at the start of the day for several hours so my wife gets another good sleep cycle or two in, which makes my wife a lot more open to me sleeping in a different room.

My snoring contributes to that too though - my baby sleeps better without me in the room!

>nobody is going to 'well-rested' when there are only two people taking care of an infant.

Sometimes I wonder if people would be a lot better off if they formed 3-6 adult family units for the purpose of sharing resources and raising kids.

Back in the "old days", and still in many non-Western cultures, grandparents live with parents and help with family care.

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