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There is a setting to disable keyboard shortcuts in jira. It don't seem to do anything, but at least there is a setting for it. My guess is that the jira ticket to implement that didn't include what the setting should do, only that the setting was required

this is almost exactly my workflow, but before clicking on a first box I additionally wait several seconds until the page loads. Also, sometimes I extend that workflow with silent cursing and contemplating self-harm

But it's also really fucking slow!