however well intentioned, this boils down to people deciding for and controlling others. disrespecting them, treating them less than fully human, less than themselves. that is the underlying evil in all evil actions.
American Life had a podcast about a Chinese family that hid their elderly matriarch's terminal diagnosis from her. The story is similar in spirit to this one. Whatever you may think of that decision, it was not an evil act. In another podcast, the adults shielded their girlscout troop from the harsh realities of a POW camp similar to 'Life is Beautiful'.
Sometimes, people will decide to carry a burden on behalf of others, and in general that is a deeply admirable quality.
[1]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Farewell_(2019_film)#Produ...
I don't think you can call it a burden in that sense if the other person is totally oblivious to it. That's purely a burden of your own creation, because they had no say in it, and you're basically deciding that you don't like the truth, so they won't either, where in reality it could be quite liberating.
In that sense, I don't feel that's quite as compassionate as giving someone the truth and then supporting them through that if they need it; carrying that burden together if indeed it is a burden to them. It might not be.
I'd generally agree for functioning humans, but am less sure about older people with deteriorating mental functions. There is likely no getting though it, and I can hardly handle it.
Not when meeting my grandpa on one of his last days before he ended himself a few years ago in what was probably one of his clearer states of mind. Apparently they mostly shielded us from how bad his state was and honestly, I'm fine with that lie. Knowing would probably lead to something better, like some magical cure.
Now my grandma a fall, following operations and a re-occurring delirium/confusional state that doesn't seem to go away. She wants to go back to her home, but that's no option in her state. If a little lie would help keep her stable...
As for myself, I obviously hope medicine & science will make enough progress in the next few decades to spare me something like that. Or to be lucky and not have that problem in the first place. But if it comes to that... I don't know. Maybe just try to keep me happy.
Maybe. Maybe not. Depends on the situation.
>I don't think you can call it a burden in that sense if the other person is totally oblivious to it. That's purely a burden of your own creation
So we can call it a 'burden' - why argue semantics if you agree?
>because they had no say in it, and you're basically deciding that you don't like the truth, so they won't either
Another cynical interpretation. No. That's not necessarily the consideration. That's not necessarily the right interpretation.
> where in reality it could be quite liberating.
Maybe. Maybe not.
>I don't feel that's quite as compassionate as giving someone the truth and then supporting them through that if they need it;
Maybe. Maybe not.
As such, I would favour open communication instead of being ‘protected’. That requires serious trust. And a lot of these games that we play depend on a lack of trust.
There’s nothing cynical about this, we’ve all done things with good intentions in mind only to get bad results. Oftentimes it’s because we’re acting in our own interest and not the person we’re putting it on.