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I'm in an apartment tower which is vendor locked to Internode (IINet/TPG aren't even available).

I'm fortunate that the connection is 100/40/unlimited for $60 AUD, but it still annoys me that I have _no_ options to obtain a static IP whatsoever.

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It's not as good as a static IP but you can look into DynDNS providers to have a static way to access your machines from outside. Almost every provider has a free option and it's very easy to setup.

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