I'm tired of the NoSQL buzz, and bring you SlouchDB

Sorry, you have truly no idea how NoSQL databases work and miss important points like parallel mappers and multi-dimension keys.

Google the TeraSort project to get an idea how map-reduce works and why it wins over all SQL-based solutions.

I think you've missed the point, friend.

Sometimes, trolling gets taken seriously.

This looks fine and all. But allow me to ask:

Is it web scale?

Come on, this is clearly far, FAR away from being NoSQL!

You are missing a hip, unusual name, a cool website design, clever, convincing slogans, lots of media/blog coverage and an intriguingly large downloadable binary version.