Also, it's a lot easier to foresee the weight of a design than its cost so most space programs use it as a proxy for cost. So generally the space industry would optimize for minimizing weight and not even try to think about how the materials used would affect cost.
Here, specifically, with regard to steel rockets? SpaceX stopped optimizing for weight and used thick steel. SpaceX optimized for cost and practicality. Brute force rocket engineering, rather than "the best performance numbers on paper" which is where a lot of rocket designs seemed to get lost in the weeds of some component that ends up being a massive maintenance mess but gives you "the best performance".
The steel tanks that collapsed in the sixtys? They were so thin they needed pressurization at all times or they would collapse. SpaceX realized that was a design and maintenance risk, and just built thick tanks.