Could you perhaps link to one? I know of plenty of misguided tutorials that try to be helpful but aren't. I've never come across one I'd call "condescending".
> I can't recollect I have ever learned a programming concept through metaphors. The only way I have learned concepts is though solving tasks in a language and thereby learning to use the tools available.
Yet for some reason newcomers (reputedly) want to know what a monad is before trying to use one! I agree with you: they should go ahead and use one and not worry about what it is!