I find it mind-boggling that more than a decade into the smartphone revolution there are a zillion fart apps and (AFAICT) zero tutorial apps teaching a user what the verbs and affordances and conventions are.
I'm hoping I can find a better solution because I really hate it but at least it's "obvious" now.
https://uglyduck.ca/hamburger-menu-alternative/
(Sorry for what might look like self-promotion)
> Upon first launch of your app, introduce the user to the navigation drawer by automatically opening it. This ensures that users know about the navigation drawer and prompts them to learn about the structure of your app by exploring its content. Continue showing the drawer upon subsequent launches until the user actively expands the navigation drawer manually. Once you know that the user understands how to open the drawer, launch the app with the navigation drawer closed.
From http://www.androiddocs.com/design/patterns/navigation-drawer... (older versions of the docs, I can't find it on the current site)