I can’t speak for all Americans, but it’s fantastic and sadly inaccessible. Grocery stores either don’t have them, want to charge an unreasonable premium as if it’s exotic, or ideally will give them away. However that’s a perk the butcher gets for friends, family, and loyal customers. Unfortunately, I don’t have such a relationship with a butcher, so it’s a rare treat. Those who do have access are very much into it.
I don't know if "exotic" is the right word, but they are scarce; there aren't many good marrow bones compared to the amount of meat on a cow. I have good relationships with a couple Chicago butchers (I was an investor) and I'd have to ask far ahead for the marrow bones. Since there's so little of it to sell, they're more likely to make a product that stretches them, like marrow butter or bone marrow burgers, than to simply sell the bones.
I was reliably able to get them at Paulina Meat Market without advanced notice a couple years ago when I lived nearby. The only caveat is they don't like to saw them when it's busy or close to closing time. So if you don't have a bandsaw, go off hours
You will see it here and there. It is not common, usually in steak houses or French restaurants. The smaller (dedicated) butcher shops will give you a cut that you can work with. The larger grocery stores usually only have bones for stock or at best oxtail soup.
No. Marrow bones were a super big fine dining trend about 10 years ago, though it's died off a bit; you'll still find them at high-end gastropubs. And of course, you'll find osso buco even at red sauce Italian joints.
You need a big-ish city to find them with any frequency. They’re on the menu at my favorite restaurants in Vegas and San Diego. I also just recently saw them in Tallahassee. I’ve also had marrow delivered via crowd cow, a crowd funded butcher box service.
Anecdotal, but you’re mostly correct.
Where I live currently, there’s exactly one restaurant that has it on the menu for quite literally a 2 hour driving radius.