Joel Spolsky has a great article on Big Macs vs Naked Chef
https://www.joelonsoftware.com/2001/01/18/big-macs-vs-the-na...
In there, he talks about bespoke development vs mass market products, using McDonald's Big Macs vs a chef.
I think this provides a reasonable framework for approaching the present controversy.
For example, if McDonald's sold a Big Mac to <villain>, no one would bat an eye. However, if a chef went to work for <villain> there would be questions.
In the same way, if you are making a mass-market, generally useful tool, nobody should be excluded from using your tool. However, if you are doing custom, hi-touch development, then it might be more justified to screen your clients more.
I think Gitlab falls more into the mass-market, generally useful tool.