Your latter question has always fascinated me as well. How do I know my 'red' is your 'red'. My father was colour blind and I used to enjoy trying to explain the missing colours to him and for him to explain what things looked like. I quickly learned it's hard to describe colours someone else can't see.
I read an interesting article on colour perception once and about how the physiology makes it pretty likely we all perceive 'red' to be 'red'. I will have to try to find it.