You don't actually know, at the time that you cast your ballot, how everyone else will vote. This kind of strategic voting is difficult to reason through, and incredibly likely to backfire.
As you point out, it's harder to predict whether you're throwing away your vote because it's harder to reason through the effects, but I think that's just going to make even people unhappier with IRV and generate even worse election outcomes. At least in FPTP you can usually tell what the best strategy is in advance, so if you throw away your vote you only have yourself to blame.
Essentially what happened is that the person who was the 2nd most popular in the first round ended up overtaking the Democrat, so it wasn't a wild swing or anything... but after that happened the winner turned out to be a terrible person who was removed from office, then the two major parties lobbied to get IRV thrown out with the bad mayor and managed to get the majority on board.
As I've mentioned elsewhere, it's essentially like looking at Nixon/Clinton/ye favorite impeachment person and saying... "Welp, we're impeaching Nixon, so I guess this Democracy thing is a bust, I wonder if George II would be willing to take us back."
The two major parties warped what was just a bad candidate into a reason to regress the voting system because it allowed non-two party candidates to win easily (they still can win because 802 is serious about quality over party - hence the republican governor, and socialist senator/former mayor of BTV)