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I know it's easier said than done, but you can't rely on work alone to make you happy. You have to take that task on yourself. I would even go so far to say you shouldn't even rely on your spouse to make you happy. They should complement you.

I would also say that you have to embrace the biggest benefit of remote work - personal agency. Most remote workers I know (myself included) can for the most part work when we want to work. I can workout at 10am or go train BJJ at 9:30am. Instead of having to shape my day around work, I can shape work around my day. The personal agency aspect is the biggest benefit for me, and one that I would be hard pressed to ever give up at this point.

BTW, working from home should make it much easier to maintain the weight you want since healthy food options should be easier at home. WFH means I can throw some chicken and veggies on the grill at lunch for a healthy and cheap meal.

This is exactly why i will never work in an office again.

  - I wake up when i want (thou without fail earlier then when i had a commute to dread)
  - i can make a nice coffee/breakfast while getting some work done
  - i work out every day, sometimes multiple times because i can pop to a class by my home whenever i want
  - i often take days off to climb or snowboard/shift my work into the evening
  - seeing friends is easier than ever as i can be social on their schedule
  - i don't always take vacation to travel and explore as i can work from anywhere
  - assuming a generously short commute of 30 min plus 15 min to get ready/unpack on either end thats at least 1.5 hours a day back to do whatever i want with

I am the OP on this thread, and I totally agree with you (and almost everyone else who has replied).

There are massive perks to working remotely and I will never (hopefully), ever have to work in an office and commute again.

You have to be extremely disciplined, and have a company that knows how to set requirements properly.

If you have that, and you know exactly what needs to be done, and when it needs to be done by, then you are set.

Do it, and then do whatever else you want. Wake up whenever, take a 3 hour lunch break, it doesn't matter.

I worked 4 hours this Sunday AM because I had nothing else to do and I wanted to get progress done on my current task.

This is the proper way to work, especially so for software engineers, where everything can be done 100% the same remotely as it can be done in an office.

I'm not saying you're wrong, but you can get these benefits from a FAANG-type company (though like you said, presuming a short commute). I'm personally planning to do working holidays in other countries every so often.

I’m not sure I’d want to work for a FAANG company thou.. and honestly no commute is the best, 5% or more of my day back, every work day? Yes please

And that's obviously your choice. I personally chose this path since I'm at the beginning of my career - maybe I'll give remote working a shot one day! However, nothing seems worse to me right now than mixing home and work life. Physically separating them gives me a mental barrier between them.

BTW, commutes aren't 'fun', but it gives me a chance to read/reply to my emails, plan my day, or do some reading, so on balance I do save non-negligible time.

I deeply agree, but dynamic scheduling can have a strong negative affect of causing you to always stay in "work-mode". If I spend my mornings doing errands, cooking, or hitting the gym, I may end up working well into the evening up to the point just before I fall asleep. Or more likely, I shave hours from my "work-week" working about 6 hours a day, and find myself working throughout the weekend without any "mental rest".

I think humans have always struggled with finding ways to be happy in whatever circumstances they are provided, and remote work and the new global economy are going to force us (through some struggle) to figure out the best ways for ourselves to get on.

Ultimately as I mention in my original post it's about self-discipline and structure to do what you know will make you happy, but strangely that can be pretty hard.

The only real piece of advice I have for changing those things is committing to it. Losing weight is a good place to start, it has easily observable results and you can go at your own pace. I lost 20kg in 6mo when I started travelling, it was my first "change my life" goal and it made it a lot easier to start on other things that I hoped would be beneficial for me long-term - like finally starting on getting my teeth fixed despite my fear of dentists.

Finding the first win helps a ton. :)

You're not alone here. Pretty much the same boat. USA-ian in a different country working remotely. Going on ~5 years now.

I can definitely echo the sentiments about gaining weight, working out, cooking, and depression and anxiety. I've got a grasp on the issues, and I could probably "make it work" for a while longer, but I'm old enough and at a point in my career where "make it work" is a lazy cop-out; I can afford to push for "good" or even "great", and feel like I should. But long term remote work just kills inertia.

Working out: If possible I highly advise finding a workout partner. I lift weights with a (now-ex) co-worker, and it makes the workout significantly more enjoyable, and provides motivation to keep me going, even on days he can't make it (don't want to fall behind!).

Alternatively, consider a class. A dance class can be great for both 1 & 7 (note: don't be that guy who hits on every woman in your class, no one likes that guy), but it could be anything, martial arts, gymnastics/ninja warrior, racketball, etc.

> I hate doing a healthy thing. I don't want to do it. But when I do, I feel momentously better afterwards.

Ah yes, that's familiar.