Hacker News Reader

Comment by tombert | Hacker News Reader

There's a quote in Bojack Horseman that has a similar theme:

> I guess I got a happy ending, but every happy ending has the day after the happy ending, right? And the day after that. So the wedding was so much fun. It was the happiest day of my life. But, you know, what does that say about all the days I have left?

I've always liked that quote, because it is something that gets a bit glossed over in books and movies, but is important; the first derivative of happiness after something amazing is almost invariably negative.

View on HN

This is absolutely not so. Just because one flies high one day does not mean if you fly low the next day that it is negative at all. Because hey - you are FLYING! There are different joys in all levels of flight (or to leave the analogy, of life). Additionally IF one does have an exceptionally negative day, it can be used to even more appreciate the exceptionally happy days. And another way to understand this is that the happy times, if truly pure and happy, never lose the positive buoyancy they shed on the rest of your days; so in that way those days have raised your overall abundance of life.

> Just because one flies high one day does not mean if you fly low the next day that it is negative at all. Because hey - you are FLYING!

Sure, and maybe that mentality works for you, but I feel like a lot of people are more sensitive to differentials than actual quality-of-life.

For example, if I get a big raise at work, then that's great; I will probably be happy for awhile, and after that, I'll probably equalize to more or less the level of happiness I was before. Imagine that I then lose that raise, going back to the same salary that I started with. I would probably be pretty depressed over that, despite the fact that I wouldn't, in practice, be any worse than how I started.

I'm not saying it's rational, I'm just saying that's how I (and I think a lot of people) would react.

Hedonic adaptation works both ways, you would normally equalize to the same level after the cut, so it is a good thing.

And if you keep that process in mind and maintain perspective, you can flatten both bursts of happiness and bouts of depression. Paradoxically, this might actually raise your settled level of happiness.

I don't disagree with that at all; as I've gotten older I've tried to keep that mentality in mind, especially when I'm sad.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com