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terrorists disable vibrate, enable auto-answer and start using voltage going into speaker as detonators...

...now automated periodic calls are mandatory in America.

terrorists give up on cellphones, go back to pagers... police now randomly searches doctors for bombs.

First they came for the cell phones, and I did nothing. Then they came for the pagers. Still I did nothing. At last they came for the walkie-talkies, yet I continued doing nothing.

All I thought was "What's any of this got to do with me? I'm just a pigeon!"

As long as you're not driving a bus, we're fine.

* sigh * not many Mo Willems fans here, I guess.

In other news carrier pigeons are now used as the preferred detonation device for terrorists.

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