https://docs.oracle.com/javase/tutorial/uiswing/lookandfeel/
JavaFX does allow CSS to be used to style it:
https://docs.oracle.com/javase/8/javafx/user-interface-tutor...
http://www.jgoodies.com/ is still in business, to give a possible example.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpKANTHXwmo
As mentioned, having a designer on the team matters.
Lack of design skills doesn't improve just because one changes UI stack.
That said I haven't touched their IDEs in 2 years so maybe something changed.
There used to be many libraries (most of them were awful, half of them tried to mimic circa 2002 Mac OS X Aqua) so i do not remember any names, though i remember trying one with a visual editor that i gave to a designer at the place i worked at. We didn't ended up using it though because of the price.