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There is Roll20, which allows you to play in online campaigns.

> The other day I was thinking about some kind of online service that would let you join a D&D like distributed party

Sounds like a virtual tabletop, of which there are many, some with fully licensed support for D&D and other major TTRPGs (Roll20, Fantasy Grounds, etc.)

I totally know what you mean - a DM can really make or break the experience. I have some ideas around this that may surface in Adventurekeep at some point.

I hope you get an opportunity to play again. D&D is such a unique experience that everyone should be able to participate in.