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I've toyed with the idea of putting up a personal ToS detailing a $50/hr charge for time spent on hold, and then sending invoices to companies which treat me to crappy customer service antipatterns...

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That wouldn't work in my country. I tried it. They told me to sue them, so at least I got a response. It's a big ISP who left me without Internet from 27.04. to 12.11.

Take them up on it!

Small claim court usually has minor fees to file a case. Most examples I’ve heard had the company settling before it even went to trial.

That is what I will do. Mainly because I had to pay for the service for the months it didn't work. If I didn't, they would've sued ME for not paying. (in case of a complaint of the bill, you have to pay average of 3 months previous bills. In fixed bill scenario, you pay the same, and the law is useless in that case)

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