My father hasn't had bypass surgery, but he's drank and smoked for 60+ years and has a number of health issues. He's stopped smoking (for my mother's comfort and health, not his own) but continues to drink, eat everything, and lead a mostly sedentary lifestyle. Everyone in my family has pleaded with him at various times to make some effort to get healthier so we'll have him around longer.

His reply: he's already lived longer than he expected to (he's in his late 70s) and is satisfied with what he's done. There's no doubt he loves us but he doesn't feel obligated to stick around for our sake. It's taken a long time for me to accept this as his right.

I wish I could change his mind and every day I try and think of ways to get him excited to stick around longer. I'd love for my (hypothetical future) kids to meet him. There's still so much I want to learn from him.

But I don't know what it's like to be as old as him, and I don't have a right to ask him to do more than he already has. Maybe when he's closer to the end I'll be mad at myself for not fighting harder for him. This piece - and your comment - have made me more determined to do so.