There's no such thing as hate speech. You have the right to hate, and expressing it helps. It's often the things you hate that need to be talked about the most. You shouldn't be scared to say it, it should be encouraged, especially if you are wrong.
There most certainly is, you just don't like any of the definitions of it.
You're also confusing dealing with personal psychological problems and causing duress to another person based on your own fears and biases.